Fear is not the enemy. It’s not a shameful embarrassment to be shed as soon as possible or fortified against. Fear is a friend calling out for care. When Fear first calls as a slight resistance, an aversion to what is in front of us, it’s tempting to turn away. Like a passer-by turning from
Here’s something I’ve been realising recently in quite a profound way. There is absolutely no way that you can know what is going on in someone else’s head. Even with people that we have a strong connection, all we’ll ever be able to know is our own story about that person and what they may
I’m tired of feeling deficient. Of wondering If a compliment Is being given Out of feelings of admiration Or feelings of pity. If the person is thinking “Aww how sweet.” Or genuinely respects me. I’m tired of worrying That my oddness Makes me lesser Instead of letting it make me more. And worrying that maybe
Well… I just had a proper meltdown. As in an ADHD/Autistic meltdown. What does that look like? You might ask. You might not ask… I’m going to tell you anyway, because they’re kind of interesting, and I think people don’t really understand them. They’re not amazing, let me tell you. I mean, if you were
I’ve known about Shame for some years. Ever since I watched Brene Brown’s TED talk years ago (which, let’s face it, is probably a lot of people’s introduction to the concept)… But I didn’t really “get” it at the time. A lot of emotions are easy to understand intuitively… Anger? I know what it’s like
It’s official! I’ve got ADHD and definite traits of autism. Fuck. I mean… Good. Fine. I’m over it. Am I though? I am, I think, at peace with the ADHD. Hell… I made a show about it last year and have experienced great joy, love, and friendship connecting with people who are also neurodivergent. Accepting
It might seem strange to say, but I have never really felt like a Man. I am a man. By biological, cultural, and gender identity perspectives. I’m also (as far as I’m aware, I haven’t really explored but am never closed to exploration in life) fairly firmly heterosexual… so I am a straight, white, cisgender
It’s official… I’m a masochist… I have just begun another 1-2 year launch into academia, in the form of a professional MA in Voice Studies at the Voice Study Centre. Why would I subject myself to this sort of intense intellectual wankery? Haven’t I spent enough of my life being pissed off by the hugely
A thing just happened to me that hasn’t happened in a while… … a thing that I quite appreciate happens to me… … a thing that is welcomingly jarring… I was misgendered. As a short man with long hair, this happens every so often. Someone (almost always a male, I hazard to say), approaches me
It’s been a while since I wrote a blog about my time here at Gaulier. I should, I suppose, be writing reams of text by now… as I have only one module left (Shakespeare/Chekov), which starts in 3 weeks. This term, I have had my biggest crisis since the first time I stepped into my
