It’s not easy being green When you lean into the Queen and you whisper in her ear “Your finger’s green! Maam, your hand’s turned flat like an old runner bean Oh my god, those fingers are totally obscene, Hey Queen, are you on drugs? Charlie Sheen? So, where have your green fingers been?” The world
Want to have fun? Write some lists! Lists are bloody great. If you’re not a fan of list writing, you’re missing out. What are you missing out on? Well, hours of fun. List writing fun… and don’t you know that list writing fun is the best type of fun!? Writing lists is more fun than
1. When the Lidl app pops up saying the new coupons are available. 2. Completing my taxes on time. 3. Getting to the bottom of the washing basket (who am I kidding, this never happens… there are always more clothes to wash). 4. It being Friday so I can have a bath… Why do we
Here are 10 embarrassing things to do in front of the window in your flat or house when your neighbour lives across and can see in your window: 1. A mime in the style of Marcel Marceau… but really badly. 2. Playing an invisible trumpet as Ride of the Valkyries plays on the radio. 3.
When I look out of my window, I can see a lollipop person… as in, someone who holds a giant lollipop to help children across the road. I hate lollipop people. I’m sure they’re very nice people. But I hate them. Why do they have to help me across the road!? I’m a 34 year
1. Feed them to the dog 2. Throw them out of the door. 3. Build them into a tower underneath the table with your toes. 4. Stuff them into your pocket, leave them for weeks, forget about them, and then wonder why everyone says “What’s that horrible smell?” when you come in the room. 5.
The practice of handshaking is one that baffles many scholars. It’s not that they can’t find a theory for why people do it — in fact, they have many good theories, almost all of which are well-established and ridiculous — but that the scholars can’t understand why they personally have to shake people’s hands. Scholars, as you are
Some things you never knew about Guadalupe I’m not a big traveler of areas of the world I’ve never heard of and yet I know so much about Guadalupe. Guadalupe is a portmanteau of the words Good and Elope, which was chosen by the country’s naming officiators because so many people went there to elope
I love going on holiday! I mean who doesn’t. But I tell you what I like even more… it’s the souvenirs! Ooh yeah, gotta love those things you bring back from holiday. I’m not one of these idiots who just buys a little figurine of a mouse saying Welcome to Amsterdam. That’s just a ridiculous
Dear Me from last Monday, Thank you so much for not putting the key back on the hook. It was a perfect excuse for me to take over an hour out of my important workday to try to find it again, and you know I really love searching for things! I just love that feeling