I’m tired of feeling deficient.

Of wondering
If a compliment
Is being given
Out of feelings of admiration
Or feelings of pity.
If the person is thinking
“Aww how sweet.”
Or genuinely respects me.

I’m tired of worrying
That my oddness
Makes me lesser
Instead of letting it make me more.
And worrying that maybe
I’m so much more
That I’m Too Much.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m Too Much.
I’m angry that I feel I’m Too Much.

I’m angry that I feel
I’m Too Much
Because I’ve spent so much
Of my precious life
Worrying that I’m Not Enough.

I’m angry
That our cultures are so confused
As what they want us to be
That it doesn’t matter
If I’m Not Enough or Too Much
Because, either way,
I’m wrong.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m wrong.
I’m so tired of feeling deficient.