Dear Me from last Monday,

Thank you so much for not putting the key back on the hook. It was a perfect excuse for me to take over an hour out of my important workday to try to find it again, and you know I really love searching for things! I just love that feeling of blind panic when I realise that my well-established routines to stop me losing things have been thwarted yet again by a slip of the memory.

Seriously, it’s like going on a rollercoaster! The thrill in my heart when that feeling of dread washes over me. Thank you for giving me that thrill by not putting the key back where it needs to be.

The best thing about losing that key is the fact that I now have a steaming pile of washing to hang up on the roof and nowhere to put it. It’s a sunny day today, the clothes would be dry in no time if only I had the key to the roof that isn’t on the hook. And that would be a shame. After all, wet clothes are like fine cheese, kimchi or wine. The longer they stay damp and wet, the riper they become. And I do like a ripe pair of socks. Of course, I am too fastidious to leave the wet clothes in the bag for a long time, without some excuse. You have given me the perfect excuse to leave them festering there, which I and (I’m sure) my partner will greatly appreciate when we are wearing our shirts with mushrooms growing out of the collars.

The greatest benefit you have given me, however, is to reaffirm my belief that I am a useless idiot who can’t go a single day without breaking or losing something. I was getting too confident, too sure of myself. I felt that I was turning a new leaf and perhaps even becoming someone who can keep their life on track without having to use these silly little systems to stop me losing things. You have reaffirmed my sense of self. I am now confident that I am still the clumsy, forgetful, incapable person that I always was. Isn’t that great!? After all, who really wants to change anyway. Change is scary, but being consistent is the real skill.

What’s even better, even after wasting over an hour of my day, I still haven’t found the key. What a gift you have given me, me from last Monday! Now the fun can continue! Maybe for some more hours, maybe for a few days, maybe even for months and months! It is just like a good Christmas present, as good presents are those that I will use again and again. Every time I need to hang up washing, I will remember this gift you have given me.

So thank you, Me from last Monday.

Yours with gratitude,

Me from Today.