Why is it that some of us feel the drive to “get things moving” but others don’t?

Or, put another way, why do only some people feel responsible?

I was chatting with my dad the other day about leadership. I find myself driven to take leadership positions in many situations.

Now… this terminology of “leadership” isn’t something that I would necessarily relate to about myself. But my actions and mindset show otherwise.

I often find myself taking responsibility. — or feeling like I have to take responsibility — to keep things going.

Currently, I’m:

  • The President of the Scotland chapter of the Professional Speaking Association
  • I’m on the committee of a Toastmasters group (and feel huge responsibility as one of few people who can keep it going… or that’s what it feels like anyway).
  • I’m a joint leader of an improv group and a clown rehearsal group… and though these are sessions run by everyone, I still FEEL the responsibility to facilitate and run the groups.
  • I am in charge of the online communication, and thus basically the one that moves anything forward for a writer’s group… which, I’ve decided that I just don’t have the bandwidth to re-energize after Covid.
  • I pick up small responsibilities often.
  • Oh… and I run my own business.

The thing is that I’m terrible at leadership.

Or rather, I’m terrible at admin, and most of leadership seems to be focused around “getting things done” in an administrative sense.

Yet, when new things come up, I often find myself taking a certain responsibility for them.

Even when I have nothing to do with the running of a group or activity, I do personally feel responsible if it doesn’t go to plan, if not enough people turn up, or if it fails for some reason or another.

Clearly, there’s something going on here in my head.

Nobody expects me to lead.

But there’s this feeling that I *should*… but other people don’t seem to have this drive.

When I was talking to my dad about this, he also has this drive to a degree. For him, he told me, it’s more about feeling like he would usually shy away from such positions of leadership so he pushes himself to do them. And perhaps that’s similar for me too.

I know my mum tends to feel a huge responsibility for keeping things together. She’s basically the only reason that several parts of my extended family even speak to each other.

So perhaps our tendency towards taking leadership positions comes from what we see around us?

I do wish I didn’t feel such a strong responsibility for things though. It’s stressful. Either that or I wish I was just better at leading and organization!

Having both “ineptitude” (for want of a better word) coupled with an uncontrollable drive to do the thing you’re inept at is not the path to a very relaxed life!

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